Last week I wrote about the state of childcare.
Then I did what every rational person should avoid: I read more government documents.

And guess what?

It’s complicated! Very very complicated.

Enter: The 300 School-Based Nurseries Plan

The government’s big new childcare move:
300 school-based nurseries
£150,000 per school in capital grants
3,000 new places “by September”

On paper, it looks like a win:

More places
One drop-off for families
Stronger community ties
A clear political “we’re doing something” moment

And to be fair, after the mess they’ve inherited – decades of underinvestment, fragmented provision, and workforce burnout – I get the instinct to do something visible.
Something fast.
Something press-release-worthy.

But here’s the scoop: policy optics and operational reality are not the same thing. And when we confuse the two, things break – or worse, backfire.

**What might work**

✅ One drop-off = easier for parents with multiple kids
✅ School sites could serve high-need families and SEND access
✅ Wraparound potential if schools have space, staff and time (🤞)
✅ Community vibes (if not crushed under admin and EYFS compliance)

What’s actually happening on the ground

Most schools aren’t built for babies.
And no, slapping a nap rug in the corner of the maths classroom doesn’t cut it.

£150k sounds like a lot – until you need:

Equipment for under 2s
Sensory-safe design
Retrofitted toilets
Outdoor space that’s not a concrete heat trap

Term-time only + school hours = still doesn’t solve the full-day, full-year challenge working families face.

Staffing crisis? Still very much a thing. Unless someone’s growing EYFS-qualified staff in a lab, this will pull from the same shallow pool everyone else is drowning in.

The problem under the problem

This plan doesn’t just have cracks – it risks undermining the existing sector.

If parents start migrating to these new school nurseries, we’ll see:

PVI settings losing income
More closures
Less choice
And the actual “expansion” turns out to be a reshuffle – not a real solution

And let’s not forget: birth rates are dropping.
We could be building spaces for children who don’t exist yet.
That’s not a strategy. That’s a PR stunt in a hard hat.

But here’s where it could work – if we’re smart about it

This isn’t about blaming schools or slating the plan.
It’s about acknowledging the scale of what we’re trying to fix – and getting honest about how we do it well.

So here’s what could genuinely help:

Partner schools with experienced PVI providers

Instead of reinventing the wheel, work with the people who already know how to steer the damn thing.
There are schools doing this already – and it works.

Create local childcare cohorts

Schools + PVIs + childminders + LAs = shared training, shared staff pools, shared survival.
This isn’t competition. It’s triage.

Use the space for SEND provision

You want to add real value? Use some of that space to build proper SEND support –
the thing everyone agrees is missing most, and that parents are screaming for.

The training plan? Could use some work...

Another part of the plan: solve staffing shortages with… free online Gov training.
Because when I think valuing the workforce, I definitely think:
“Give them a PDF from 2014 and wish them luck.”

Let’s be clear: Qualifications and Experience matter — but we don't have enough of it in the here and now.

Quality matters — especially when dealing with babies and children.

Free mediocre (I signed up for it, to test it out) on-line Gov training does not = Quality.

This is not reform. This is a Band-Aid on a broken leg.

It’s politically neat. But practically messy.

It overloads schools that are already:

Dealing with teacher shortages
Navigating behaviour crises
Managing decaying buildings
Struggling with their own inspection stress

Meanwhile, it destabilises the childcare sector that’s just holding on.

So what should we do?

Let’s design something.
Not just announce it.

✅ Fund the people already delivering
✅ Invest in workforce training AND retention
✅ Create inspiring, well-designed environments
✅ Build a universal funding system families understand
✅ Focus on SEND, inclusion, and emotional safety – not tick-box rollout

Fixing childcare isn’t about floorplans and press photos.
It’s about trust, systems, and actual support.

Let’s stop pretending this plan is a silver bullet.
And start building a future that doesn’t fire blanks.

The Great Childcare Con: Part 2